


Shades Of Love

by Bailey (AlexIsntReal)



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Bisexual Evan Hansen, Boyfriends, Gay Jared Kleinman, Other, Trans!Evan, Treebros, boyf riends - Freeform, jdxveronica
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2020-12-20 17:48:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21060698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexIsntReal/pseuds/Bailey
Summary: So, this story is going to be a  be a Pastel and Punk AU with the main characters being Connor and Evan. Evan's gonna be trans FTM.  Connor and JD are gonna be best friends. Connor is going to be gay, Evan's going to be bi. It's gonna be a soulmate AU where when you're first born, the world is in all black and white (and shades of those two), but the first time you kiss your soulmate, the world turns to color.





	1. Shades Of Love - Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan and Connor meet for the first time, but it doesn't exactly end well. And to make matters worse, Jared Kleinman just happens to stop in.

**Dear Evan Hansen,**   
** Today’s gonna be a good day and here’s why: because today you’re you, and (hopefully) that’s enough. Because hopefully, everything will be okay. But most importantly because today, you’re going to tell your mom your real name, and your real gender. Today, you’re going to tell her that you’re not her daughter, but, you are her son. And then you’re going to hope that she accepts you…**   
** Sincerely, me.**

  
I shakily hit print. My heart’s racing. My hands are sweating. Hi, I’m Evan Hansen, and apparently I’m the narrator of this sucky life story. (Aren’t narrators supposed to like, be aware of what's going to happen though?? Whatever. I guess I’m a special kind of narrator.) I close my laptop then go to stand up. I’m in the school computer lab, since I don’t have a printer at home and have a therapy session later today.  
I get up to grab my paper from the printer, but almost immediately sit back down when i see Connor Murphy sit down at the table across from me, a paper in his hand. I panic. Connor’s never exactly liked me…  
I sigh and open my laptop back up. Well, I guess I have time to work on my blog today. I log back into my computer (username: MHansen password: TR33S). Just as I’m about to log onto the internet, I hear a laugh. Or maybe a sob..?

I peek over the top of my laptop and look towards Connor. He has his head in his hands, and a piece of paper in front of him. No, not a paper. A sketchbook. A drawing. And this is you warning, because this is when I fuck up. I accidentally knock my laptop onto the floor. “Fuck!” I panic.  
Connor looks back at me, his eyes red and a few tears lingering on his face. I can’t tell if his eyes are red because he’s been crying, or because he’s high. I laugh nervously, which has always been a bad habit of mine. And this moment is about to explain exactly why I hate it.  
He glares at me as soon as I laugh. The next thing I know, I’m on the floor next to my now-probably-broken laptop, my nose bleeding. That’s when I realize there’s someone standing- no, towering over me. My sight finally clears up enough to the point where I can see who caused me ending up on the ground. “Connor fucking Murphy.” I hear a voice laugh. Connor, the one who was towering over me, sins on his right heel, (a habit he likely picked up at his old school. I’ve overheard his sister talking about him in the halls before. Apparently he did MCJROTC (Marine Corps Junior Reserves Officer Training Corps) before he moved here.)  
I sigh when I realize who has just revealed what I wanted to be left as a cliffhanger for now. Jared goddamned K- “Fuck off, Kleinman.” Connor growls, talking to the only person in school stupid enough to have any association with me. Jared Kleinman. He’s kind of like Richie Tozier (yes, I’m into the IT movies. Fight me.) But he’s more of an asshloe and doesn’t have anyone who would ever be his Eddie Kaspbrak, or Stan Uris, or any of the other ships one might have with Eddie in it.  
I force myself up as Connor walks over to Jared. This should be good. The biggest asshole in the school and the supposed local druggie (does that even make sense??). I pick my laptop up, praying to god it’s not broken. It took me almost three years to be able to pay for this laptop and I definitely cannot afford a new one. Anyways, back to Connor and Jared.  
I set my laptop on the table, as Jared makes his first bad decision. “I love the new haircut, very… school shooter chic.” Jared laughs, then continues to make bad decision number two. He reaches up to try and touch Connor’s hair. That pisses Connor off even more than he already was. He grabs Jared’s arm then pulls him closer. “Don’t try and fuck with me, Kleinman.” Connor growls. I laugh nervously, again. I have to stop doing that. I throw my hand over my mouth and flinch when Connor looks back at me, his eyes softer than before when he punched me.  
Jared rolls his eyes and tries to pull his arm away from Connor. At least, I assume he rolls his eyes. Jared always rolls his eyes when it comes to potentially dangerous situations. “It was a joke, Connor-” “Oh, no, I know. I’m laughing, can’t you see?” “Well i mean I can’t see color b-” Jared’s cut off ny Connor’s free hand making contact with his face. “Holy shit-” I whisper once I see Jared hit the ground. There’s black (more than likely red, for those who’ve met their soulmates at least) blood running down his face. And then Connor turns towards me.


	2. Shades Of Love Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor figures out who his soulmate is. And then who his soulmate truly is.

_ Connor’s Point Of View _

I glance back at the short haired girl once again. She’s at least 3 inches shorter than me, short light grey hair, stunningly light grey eyes— almost the same shade of grey as the ocean. I make eye contact with her for a brief moment, and suddenly the world changes. Everything fucking changes. Her face changes from scared and teary-eyed to curious and soft. Then I remember fucking Kleinman. I push him back against the wall before letting go of him and walking over to the girl. I gently (okay, maybe not  _ gently _ , but still.) grab her chin. Then I do something that I’d only do if I was 1) high or 2) drunk. But luckily enough for me, I’m high. I think? Anyways, back to the present.

I kissed her. I don't even know her name and I  _ kissed _ her. Jesus fucking christ Connor, how much stupider can you possibly get?? The girl freezes for a moment before quickly pushing away from me, which causes her to fall backwards, nearly landing on her bag again. I look at her curiously before i hear an all too familiar voice. “Connor what the hell did you do?!” Ah, yes, the second (Kleinman being the first) most annoying person at my school. And, unfortunately, my sister. Zoe I’m-so-perfect-and-need-attention-24/7 Murphy. “Zoe— come  _ on. _ ” I hear my bestfriend’s girlfriend say. I spin on my heel and face them. Veronica Sawyer, holding back zoe by the collar of her jean jacket, JD standing behind them, Michael Mell and Jeremy Heere standing with JD. This is when things go wrong. Zoe hates my friends (yeah, i actually have friends.) and my friends aren’t exactly fond of her either. 

I remember the girl from before, Emma Hansen, I think her name is, when she stands up and tries to sneak out the library, but JD stops her.  _ Fuck.  _ “JD.” I growl as I walk over to them. He shoots a quick glare up at me, then looks back down at the girl’s arm. There are blood stained lines in the light blue fabric of her sleeve. I sigh then drop my bag on the floor. I search through my bag until i find the gauze (I may be stupid, but I’m always  _ prepared _ for my stupidity at least.), and my spare hoodie. 

I gently take the girl’s arm (is her name Emma?? I’ll have to ask later.) and roll her sleeves up to see how bad the cuts are. Some of them are pretty bad, so I sigh and get my bag off the floor. “Emma, right? I’m Connor. You probably know that. I’m gonna help get you cleaned up, okay?” My voice is softer than ever, but still has a slight edge to it. “O-Okay…” I hear her stutter out, well, barely hear. I look up at my friend group. “JD, Veronica, I’m gonna need you two with me incase I get yelled at. Zoe, fuck off.” I say before I grab my bag off the floor and sling it over one shoulder. 

I lead the way to a bathroom that not even JD knew existed, but the girl, Emma, she knows where we are. I’ve seen her here before. It’s an old, abandoned bathroom in the basically abandoned part of the school. Theres spray paint on the wall, some in black (courtesy of me,) but i see some light blue painting towards the bottom of the wall. I decide to just check it out later. I take the girl over to the sink and gently lift her up before setting her down on the sink. She’s light… like really light. Lighter than anyone our age should be. “So, Emma, when was the last time you ate?” I ask softly as she hesitantly takes her hoodie off. It’s a simple light blue zip up that looks to be three sizes too big on her. I gently take the hoodie from her and glance at the size quickly. A men’s medium. This would probably fit me, so why does a small girl like her have this..? “Um… l-last night…” She whispers. I see Veronica out of the corner of my eye, and she’s shaking her head and talking to JD.

I clean the girl’s cuts and wrap them with gauze before handing her my extra hoodie. It’s a simple black hoodie with a broken heart on the left corner, and on the back it says, “Don’t you think it’s funny how we’re all delinquent kids?” Emma’s voice cuts off my thoughts. SHe knows the song, then. “Like hush now, don’t say, don’t say” She whispers the lyrics to herself as she slips the hoodie on and jumps off the edge of the sink. “My name’s Evan, by the way, not Em-Emma-” She- he- um-  _ Evan _ stutters their own name. “Pronouns s’il vous plait mon ami?” I hear Veronica ask Evan. “Male. He/him” Evan smiles brightly. That’s when everything genuinely hits me.  _ Evan Hansen is my soulmate _ .


	3. Chapter 3

Hey! You reading this! Today's going to be a good day! And here's why! Because you're reading a new fanfiction! Yeah! That's right! You *insert your name here* get to read a new fanfic! About some musical characters in a super sweet AU where the world's black and white... until you kiss your soulmate for the first time! The Evan in this fanfiction is also going to be trans (female to male) and his dead name is going to be Emma! Connor and JD (this is multi-musical if you didn't know already!) are going to best friends! Well, that's all from me for now. I can't wait to start sharing this story with you!

Sincerely, me. (Bailey, aka the author)


	4. I Forgot This Existed??? (A Panicked Apology By The Author)

Oh god. Hi. Uh, Bailey here. I am so sorry?? I forgot I was even writing this??? and I promise I'll start updating again ASAP?? I swear I'm so stupid sometimes, haha.. anyways, i'm really really sorry and i'll post the next chapter ASAP! 


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